Bullied

I was bullying for 7 years: 4th grade-10th grade. It was so bad that I regret going to school every morning and sometimes I wouldn’t even want to wake up. All because I was heavier (and still am heavier) than other kids in my grade. There was this one girl who bullied me constantly with all of her friends. She insulted me, pushed me, and spread rumors about me until I graduated from junior high. She was the main reason I regretted school every morning. I knew that just looking at her would send a barrage of insults my way and the only way I could handle it was by crying almost every night.
Being bullied, I developed a habit of not looking up when I do things because it just came naturally. I constantly told myself “keep your head down,” “don’t make eye contact,” and eventually it’s the only way I knew how to do things. What I hate most about being bullied is how insecure I became towards myself. I always preach about loving yourself and not calling yourself “ugly” but even I don’t think I’m pretty. Being called fat, gross, and disgusting for 7 years changed the way I viewed myself. I still cant look in the mirror at myself because people that I went to school with implanted this thought that I’m fat, gross, and disgusting. Being a high school senior now I still hear comments about how I look but I just try to keep my head up and make it through because at the end of the day I’m going to graduate and not see any of these people ever again.