Feels like im not normal, i dont belong here

Ive always been short and im fat. I get bullied for it at school + home in America. At home everyone bullies me because im fat and when i get bad grades they start shouting at me and all. I also dont like my brother because he bullies and abuses me.

At school i get bullied because im short and fat, i try being funny so people like me but people just find me as a joke. When i hang out with my friends they just bully me for how short i am and people at school also do lot of abusing to me because im an easy target (not really abusing maybe just like head lock chocking and they let go after 2secs). Whenever my parents get angry at me and i go to my room I cry (even if im a 13yr old boy) and think how i dont belomg here, im a joke, i get bad grades and it just makes me feel like Suicidal. I feel alone everyday. I dont want to see anyone about it please dont tell me to see anyone. I think about suicide but i will never do it because i am catholic. I get really emotional even tho im a teen. I feel depressed, do I really belong here. I am a joke 🙁