Stand up

I lived in BC, I grew up there. I knew everyone and everyone knew me, we all went to school together, grew up together, learned together. We were all friends. Then my 10 year old life got flipped upside down. I moved far away to somewhere where I knew nobody and nobody knew me. Before school started they offered a camp for the kids so that you could get to know your classmates, I never wanted to go but my mom thought it would be good for me. So I went. The activities were fun, the teachers/counsellers were great, but the kids they were cruel. They didn’t know it then but they definitely changed my life. I was a big kid and automatically others didn’t like that, they didn’t like the fact that I broke the mold of that typical cookie cutter body standard that is shown in every aspect of our lives. All through middle school this went on and on and on. Others joined in, other bullies, and I would come home from school everyday and cry in my room because I felt like there was no end to this bullying. They would steal my binder and rip everything out of it and destroy it beyond repair. I would be walking in the hallway and they would knock all of the stuff out of my hands and all over the floor. They would put glue and clay in my hair and draw on my clothes with permanent marker. At school dances they would go out of their way to give me ANYTHING that related to a cow, because that was what they called me “Cow”. I was helpless. I told teachers and my parents but they can only do so much to stop bullies from hurting people. They made me feel like I was worthless, nothing, disposable, that no body cares or would ever care about how I felt. Then it was time for highschool and I knew I wasn’t going to play the victim any longer, I would not let them torment me any more. I taught myself to be hard headed and to not care what others think, I was me and I wasn’t going to change to fit that cookie cutter that everyone so desperately tried to fit into. I know it so much easier said then done, I understand that, it takes a lot of courage to stand up for yourself and others. But that’s what I did. I stood up for myself and that I didn’t care what they thought cause I wasn’t trying to impress them. They would throw stuff at me and I would pick it up, throw it in the garbage and sit right back down in the same spot because they weren’t going to ruin my day. I wasn’t going to let them win, they didn’t deserve to have any gratifications for their actions because I knew that they only bullied because there was something wrong within themselves or within their lives. That is still no excuse but it made me feel sorry for them, I was not scared of them and I would never let them project their hurt feelings onto me. If I saw others getting bullied I would go and stand up for them because I’m sure they felt as defenceless as I did. No one deserves to feel the way that I felt when I was getting bullied, no one! If I saw fights I would break them up, if I heard cruel words being spoken about someone I would tell them to keep their opinions to themselves because if they didn’t have anything nice to say they should say nothing at all, I would go up to someone who was hurt and try to be friends with them and let them know that they weren’t alone anymore. Being bullied is awful, people are cruel and rude and harsh, but all that stuff that happened to me has made me the person that I am today. I’m straight forward, hard headed, and most of all courageous. I do not put up with bullies and no one should. It’s been almost 9 years since I got bullied in middle school and I am stronger then ever. We need to stand up for ourselves and for others, we need to let people know that they are not alone in this world and that there are people to talk to and ways to get help. We need to be kind and repectful and loving. You are not alone, you are loved, you are wise, and you are strong. Hang in there, life gets better. I promise.