Why does it hurt so much

Here is my story. She makes up rumors about me like… I have lice, she likes this boy, and a lot of other mean stuff and when my grandma told the principal about this she was in the room and she told the principal I hit her I pinch her and that was a lie I never even touched her and when I’m on the bus she calls me cuss words and tells people secrets when I right in front of her and she made people think I was a bad person and I’m only twelve I cut myself and I sometimes thought about killing myself but luckily I’m still alive thinking “I’m too young god doesn’t want me dead yet” The end